Are you as annoyed as I am with “just be YOU”?
Maybe it’s because like attracts like or maybe it is truly because a lot more people are speaking out about individuality and consciousness. But, I feel like things are becoming a little saturated with finding your life purpose, your mission, who you are, and aligning with your true self.
All of which I whole-heartedly believe in and feel like it’s about freakin’ time!
And, at the same time, I also am a little bit peeved about some of the ways people are recommending you go about doing this. I love big, abstract concepts as well, so no judgements here. However, I try my best to also include really practical and tangible tips to carve your own unique path.
I mean… what does “just be you” actually look like?
I know myself way more than the average person, but I still will admit the discovering of “who I am” is a continual journey. So, how can I “be me” if it’s never a fixed point? In fact, I don’t actually WANT to always be the same.
Sure, there are consistencies, values, and core truths. But, I actually love to challenge what I believe on a regular basis. And, so to “just be me” would actually be in conflict with being me!
I think the message is really trying to say, it’s ok to let go of the mask.
We hold so tightly to an identity of who we think we should be or who someone else tells us we should be, that it becomes a projection on top of what we’d really desire to do or say.
It’s obvious during a big choice like: do I take a new job or stay with my current job?
But, it’s also in the smaller choices. When I’m choosing to blast my favorite song and dance all over the apartment.
Or when I’m choosing between saying what I think someone wants to hear or to say what I most need to convey for me (with a heaping of warmth and love, of course).
The problem is that most of the time we let those moments slip by without consideration. It wouldn’t be practical to consider all of the pros & cons to every decision we have to make. But, our default settings have been messed around by expectations and assumptions and it may take a lot of re-calibration.
How often do you give yourself space and time to explore within yourself?
Once a day? Month? Year? … Ever?
If only for a brief moment, let’s explore something. Imagine if you could say anything to your best friend and you knew 100% they would respond positively, what would you most desire to say? Would you apologize for something? Would you tell them how you really feel? Would you tell them something secret about yourself?
You may have come up with something immediately or not. Either way is ok and key feedback for how well you know your internal landscape.
Most likely though, if you thought of something, your mind may have immediately started talking its way out of why you shouldn’t say it or why they would respond negatively.
Which is funny because it was supposed to be an exploratory experiment! I didn’t actually say anything about going out and saying it. (p.s. I hope you will!)
But, the first step is sitting with what you really really want without criticism or excuses. And, THAT is something I can understand on an actionable level vs. the abstract “just be you”. It still may be uncomfortable and may need some guidance, but it sheds light on what is underneath the protective layers – your most precious desires.
What do you think? Leave a comment below with what “just be you” means to you!